Atheism and Relationships

Atheism and Relationships

The effect that atheism has on everyday relationships is an unavoidable consequence of our belief, or lack thereof. Relationships within family, with our life partners (I use the term loosely) and their families, and even our friends - although the latter usually seems to be less of an influence in the relationship. How do we deal with being the ''religious black sheep'' in the family? How do we tell our girlfriends, boyfriends, husbands and wives that we will never be able to convert to their religion. In actual fact, the task itself seems easy - the aftermath is where the problem might lie.

The acceptance of atheism from a theist's point of view must be impossible. Christians, for example, are generally bound to a literal duty to convert you, to ''cure'' you. They believe that by doing so they are pleasing their god. To accept you would be akin to letting one of ''god's children'' walk astray, wander from the path of ''good''... Is this the case, really? Is it more of a naturalistic facet of humanity, to try and persuade others to see your point of view, to subscribe to your mindset above their own? I, for one, have never attempted to take a Christian and turn them into an atheist - they're entitled to their own opinion, as we are. All I've ever done is entered a debate, and usually it ends with the theist eventually telling me something along the lines of the following: ''You need Jesus in your life. I can't help you anymore'', or, better yet: ''I'll pray for you. Don't worry.'' These are statements of the infuriating variety - they honestly make my blood boil. I hold my tongue, however, because if I don't it generally transcends the ''debate'' stage and rapidly follows the path of anger that leads to a fist-fight - maybe not so much for women...

There are so many factors triggered by the stigma people attach to atheism to begin with - the common fallacies that atheists are satanists, that they're evil, that there can be no good without a god, etc. The fact of the matter is, atheists are indeed of above average intelligence - by this I do not mean to sound arrogant at all, it merely represents itself as a constant truth in my own experience. This intelligence, and our non-belief, is constantly either misunderstood or met with completely biased judgements - we are judged preceding any encounter we make with another individual that has heard we are atheist, and that judgement is very rarely a good one.

Overcoming this might seem impossible, yet their are couples who have been married for years in atheist/theist relationships. I think it's very possible that they, and their families, have accepted them for more superficial reasons. By that I specifically mean material endowments such as money, or status. Still, true acceptance in such a relationship must exist somewhere.

Bearing all the above in mind, have you had an experience similar to this? How has it affected a relationship you have (or, indeed, attempted to have)? If you overcame it, what were your methods in gaining acceptance?

Again, I leave you with your thoughts and a quote - and a few links you may be interested in:

"If we were not afraid of death, I do not believe that the idea of immortality would ever have arisen."

Bertrand Russell - Philosopher - 1872 - 1970 

South African Skeptics

http://skeptic.za.org/

Free Society Institute

http://fsi.org.za/about/

The Decisions We Make

The Decisions We Make

Firstly, let me start of by telling you that this will be the general trend in my posts - right now, I've had to make a very difficult decision, and it has launched my mind into an avenue of thought I have hardly explored. That's what (generally) entices me to create a new post on this blog.

The decisions we make in life are often far too complicated to be clean cut, regardless of race, religion or creed. In the case of an atheist, what would have been religious boundaries are removed from your decision making process.

How would this affect the outcome of those decisions? For example, I had a very interesting conversation about a classical moral dilemma: If you were presented with the opportunity to kill Hitler, would you? I know I would. I don't have the fear of being reprimanded in the afterlife. Morally, however, would that be considered right or wrong? If it is considered wrong, does it really matter, considering the consequence would be to save millions of lives (theoretically, of course)?

That particular discussion spiraled into several different avenues, which eventually converged in the same place - that even if I had ''killed'' Hitler, that might not have changed a damn thing. It might even have made things worse - but I digress.

My point is that as an atheist the general ''Laws of Religion'' that prevent you from taking life do not apply to me. This doesn't mean that I have no morals - I still believe the taking of life is tragic, unless it is for a reason which logically makes sense. Someone is going to kill me, unless I kill them first. If I end that serial killer's life, I'll save the life of a few dozen people. That sort of thinking might be dangerous, but it remains logical.

A ''True Christian'' - note the apostrophes - should be incapable of taking another human being's life.

When considering more basic decision making, everyday stuff, the impact of this kind of thinking seems even greater in my opinion. As Hugh Laurie so truly stated: ''Everybody lies''. This is possibly a universal and whole truth. As an atheist, I feel bad about lying to benefit myself, but I still do it. Theists will do the same, and barring Satanism, usually not only feel bad, but most likely carry some form of religiously inclined guilt around with them until Sunday - or confession, or whatever other mechanism their church and religion has created to rid themselves of said guilt.

At the end of the day, Christians lie and it is considered a sin. An atheist lies, and to us, it considered just what it's meant to be: a lie, nothing more, nothing less - which, to me, makes absolute sense.

What do you think? Can you think of any examples where you've had to make a decision that was either influenced by being an atheist, or that may have been different had you been a theist?


I leave you with that thought, and the following quote,

''It is an interesting and demonstrable fact, that all children are atheists and were religion not inculcated into their minds, they would remain so.''


- Ernestine Rose, Prominent Atheist Feminist, 1810 - 1892

Introduction

I am a South African youth, and I am interested in thought provocation in the minds of atheists and theists alike. I merely convert my thought process into text, post it, and review and observe the reactions received. To me, this intellectual stimulation is arguably the most important thing in molding my own ideas - by this I do not mean that I will allow myself to be manipulated by others' thoughts and ideas, merely that I will take them into account objectively and draw from them what I can.

Please bare in mind that anyone posting a comment or link in this thread should treat lightly - I do not care for discrimination or disrespect aimed at any religious views or beliefs, so please don't attempt either of the former. I am sure every mature, open-minded, intelligent individual reading this blog feels the same.